7 Types of Abuse
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Seven Types of Abuse Checklist
These lists of abuse were made by men who were describing how they controlled or harmed their wives or girlfriends. Remember, a single act may not be abuse. But, if someone is doing something to harm or control you…then, YES, it is abuse! You can say STOP.
* indicates acts which are clearly criminal, or may be criminal depending upon the circumstances.
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Emotional / Psychological / Verbal Abuse
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| *making her do illegal things false accusations name calling, finding fault verbal threats yelling intimidation making her think she’s crazy, stupid overpowering her emotions disbelieving bringing up old issues inappropriate expression of jealousy degrading her turning a situation against her brainwashing laughing in her face silence refusing to do things with or for her always getting own way pressuring her expecting to conform to a role comparing her to others real or suggested involvement with other women making her feel guilty certain mannerisms, eg. snapping fingers, pointing threatening to get drunk or stoned unless… not passing on messages manipulation |
starting arguments withholding affection having a double standard for her saying one thing, meaning another denying or taking away her responsibilities not keeping commitments insisting on accompanying her to the doctor’s office threatening her with loss of immigration status deliberately creating a mess for her to clean preventing her from taking a job threatening to report to the authorities making her drop charges telling woman-hating jokes refusing to deal with issues minimizing her work or contribution pressuring her to stay around during drug or alcohol abuse not coming home coming home drunk or stoned displaying woman-hating or violent pictures, videos, games egging her on, challenging her to physical violence friendship with or support of men who are abusive demanding on account of her time/routine putting her on a pedestal never really forgiving, holding grudges lying treating her as a child |
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(abuse during pregnancy and childbirth)
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| *forcing her to have an abortion insulting her body refusing sex on the ground that her pregnant body is ugly denial that the child is his refusing to support her during the pregnancy refusing to allow her to breastfeed |
pouting, sulking or making her feel bad for the time spent with the baby not supporting her or helping out after she comes home with the baby demanding sex after childbirth blaming her because the infant is the “wrong sex” refusing to support her during the birth (not being there, showing up at the birth drunk, not showing up to bring her home from the hospital, sleeping around while she’s in the hospital) |
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Environmental Abuse
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Abuse in the Home: *breaking things *harming pets *ripping clothing *locking her in or out *throwing out or destroying her possessions slamming doors throwing objects, food taking the phones or denying her use of the phones |
Abuse in the Vehicle: *driving too fast *driving too recklessly *driving while intoxicated *forcing her into vehicle (when he’s angry) *pushing her out of the vehicle when it’s in motion *threatening to kill her by driving off a bridge, into an oncoming car etc. *chasing or hitting her with a vehicle prohibiting her from using the vehicle by tampering with the engine, chaining the steering wheel, taking the keys |
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Ritual Abuse
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| *mutilation *animal mutilation *forced cannibalism |
*human sacrifices (suggesting or promoting suicide *forcing her to participate in rituals *forcing her to witness rituals |
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Social Abuse
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| controlling what she does, who she sees, who she talks to, what she reads, where she goes put downs or ignoring her in public not allowing her access to family or friends interfering with her family or friends change of personality with others being rude to her friends or relatives embarrassing her in front of her children dictating her mode of dress dictating her behaviour habitually choosing friends, activities or work rather than being with her making a “scene” in public making her account for herself censoring her mail treating her like a servant using children: forcing her to stay home with the children teaching the children to abuse mother through name calling, hitting, etc. insulting or assaulting her in front of the children not sharing responsibility for children |
During Separation or Divorce: threatening to abduct children or telling her she’ll never get custody putting down her parenting ability buying off kids with expensive gifts not showing up on time to pick up kids, not having them back on time pumping kids for information about Mom, (boyfriends etc) telling kids that Mom is responsible for breaking up the family using kids to transport messages (sending notes home to Mom in their suitcases) denying her access to the children using religion: to justify abuse or dominance using church position to pressure for sex or favours using her, then demanding forgiveness excessive spending for religion interpreting religion your way forcing her to or preventing her from attending church requiring sex acts or drug use as religious acts mocking her beliefs |
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Financial Abuse
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| *taking her money *withholding money spending money foolishly or beyond means pressuring her to take full responsibility for finances not paying fair share of bills |
not spending money on special occasions ie) birthdays, etc. spending on addictions, gambling, sexual services pressuring or controlling her working conditions keeping the family finances a secret |
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Physical Abuse
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| any unwanted physical contact *kicking, punching or pinching her *pulling or pushing her *slapping, hitting or shaking her *cutting or burning her *pulling her hair *squeezing her hand, twisting her arm *choking or smothering her *forced feeding *spitting on her *throwing her hiding or withholding her necessary medications |
*throwing things at her *hitting her with objects *restraining her in any way / confining her to any space *tying her up *urinating on her *breaking her bones *knifing her, shooting her, murder *threatening to kill or injure her *pushing her down stairs ignoring her illness or injury denying or restricting food or drink pressuring or tricking her into alcohol or drug use standing too close/intimidation |
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Sexual Abuse
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*any unwanted sexual contact *forcing her to have sex, badgering or hounding her for sex *forcing her to have sex with others *forcing her to have sex with animals *forcing her to shave her pubic hair *uttering threats to obtain sex *pinching, slapping, grabbing, poking her breasts or genitals *forcing sex when she’s sick, after childbirth, operation, etc. sleeping around knowingly transmitting a sexual disease treating her as a sexual object being rough pressuring or forcing her to pose for pornographic photos |
displaying pornography that makes her uncomfortable using sex as a basis for an argument using sex as a solution to an argument criticizing her sexual ability unwanted fondling in public purposely not washing and expecting sex name calling (whore, slut, frigid, bitch) accusations of affairs degrading her body parts sexual jokes sexual comments in public demanding sex for drugs or alcohol demanding sex as payment or trade use of drugs or alcohol for sexual advantage insisting on checking her body for sexual contact |
